


Together Forever

by Mostly_Angst_Whoops



Series: Living Up To My Username [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, I cried while writing this, Love Locks, M/M, Should've been fluff, So much angst, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, finally another piece of work that I'm proud of, in Paris!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 06:24:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11753928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/pseuds/Mostly_Angst_Whoops
Summary: I live off of comments <3





	Together Forever

A soft breeze blows through Alexander’s hair, making his hair fly backward against it. This is the bridge. Alexander knows this is the bridge. He’s been dreaming of it for too long. **  
**

He knows that he’s looking for something that doesn’t exist. Doesn’t matter. He’s been here before and he’s here again, except it’s so much worse now. It had been Spring last time. There had been birds on the path that he was walking on. He’d been with someone else. He remembers the pink poodle skirt clearly.

_“You’re not seriously wearing that, are you?”_

_“Like what you see, mon amour?” the other man asks, giving Alexander a twirl._

_“I think I’ll always like what I see when I’m looking at you.”_

_“It’s nothing compared to the absolute joy I feel when I look at you.”_

Alexander sighs. The air is colder now, and his cheeks are flushed red for a completely different reason. The air bites at every bit of exposed skin. Alexander looks through the railing of the bridge over into the water below. It’s freezing, and he wonders what it would be like to jump in, let it all go.

No. He’s come too far for that.

_Alexander gently wraps his arms around the other man. “Hey, you’re amazing, okay? You’re amazing and beautiful and wonderful and you deserve to be loved.”_

_“Do you really think so?” he whimpers. Alexander tightens his arms protectively._

_“More than anything. I love you so much.”_

_The man leans into him, and they snuggle together for the rest of the night._

Alexander turns away from the water, continuing to walk briskly. The locks have already begun dotting the rails of the bridge, but he knows that they one he’s looking for is somewhere in the center, in the giant tangle of multicolor locks. He has the key in his pocket. It’s cold to the touch.

Alexander lets his fingers trail over the locks as he walks to the middle of the bridge. It’s cloudy and gloomy and there’s nobody out today. He sees another couple- two girls- giggling at they put their lock in place near the edge of the bridge.

_“Did you somehow manage to fit all your initials on the lock?”_

_“Yes, and your cheesy message.”_

_“I believe every bit of that cheesy message.”_

_“As do I, mon Alexandre.”_

Alexander blinks away the tears, which have begun to form. They sting in the nippy air. He sighs, watching a cloud of his breath dissipate.

_“Marry me, Alexander.”_

_“Was already planning to.”_

_That’s when Alexander sees the ring and gasps, letting out a happy giggle. “Wait, you’re serious?”_

_“Of course. You make me happier than anyone else in this life.”_

_Alexander takes the ring. “That’s not possible, I’m the happiest man alive, thanks to you.”_

He stops walking and begins to look through all of the locks, looking for the stupid green lock with the diamonds that he needs to see right now. Alexander’s desperate for it.

_“Diamonds? Isn’t that a little too far?”_

_“The inscription is in real gold.”_

_“Wha-”_

_“Relax, I have money. You do too, we’re married, remember?”_

_“Yes, and we’re going to be-”_

_“Together forever. I get it.”_

_“I was trying to be romantic, fuck you.”_

_“Think you’ll be doing quite a bit of both of those, mon amour.”_

Alexander’s eyes search for the familiar green. He can’t find it anywhere. He bites his lip. The locks entwine each other and the chance of him finding the lock is extremely low.

He doesn’t care. He keeps searching. He won’t be satisfied until he finds it. He won’t be satisfied after he finds it either. There’s no way he could ever be satisfied again.

_“As long as I have you, that would be more than enough. You’re everything I need.”_

_“Thank you, mon chou.”_

Alexander’s hands fall on a green lock, and he pulls at it. It’s not the one he’s looking for. The text is scratched into the smooth surface of the lock, and there’s a messy looking heart at the corner. “Together forever. JJ + TJ”

It’s a common enough thing to say, but it still hits Alexander hard.

_“You said we’d be together forever.”_

_“Yeah, I said that when you actually made me happy.”_

_“If I don’t make you happy, I’m sure you can find someone else that matters to you. You always act like I’m some idiot that can’t think. I’m done being your plaything.”_

_Alexander pries off both the rings around his finger, throwing them onto the ground in front of the other man. “Fine! Don’t need you ruining my life anyway.”_

_Alexander turns, and Lafayette is instantly chasing after him. “No, Alexander- I didn’t mean that!”_

_“Well, I did.”_

_He really didn’t._

Alexander forces the tears to stay in his eyes, but he knows that his eyesight is getting blurry. He roughly wipes them away with his sleeve, going back to searching through the locks. It’s his fault Lafayette is gone. He shouldn’t have been the stubborn idiot that he always was. He tries to stop the flow of memories that hit him as his eyes wander over a few of the words on the locks.

_“Je t’aime.”_

_“Je t’aime tellement, mon ange.”_

_“Exactly how many of these French pet names do you have?”_

_“Enough to last the rest of our life.”_

Alexander finally finds it, buried under a ton of locks. The diamonds dot the bottom, and Alexander can see the gold text in the middle of the lock.

_It’s been way too long since Alexander saw Laf, and he knows it’s his own fault. He shouldn’t have been such an idiot. The ring is no longer on his finger to fiddle with. Maybe he can apologize, and they can both go back to how it was. He knows it’s a long shot to hope that everything would be the same, but maybe Lafayette would be willing to forgive. He picks up the phone just as a call comes in. He answers the call. “Hello?”_

_“Are you Alexander Hamilton?” The tone of the voice scared him. Alexander nods, before realizing the person on the other end wouldn’t be able to see that._

_“Yes, that’s me,” he says._

_“You’re listed as the emergency contact for Marie Joesph Paul-”_

_“Yes yes, I know. What’s the matter?” Alexander asks, panic in his voice._

_“He tried to commit suicide.”_

_“What?”_

_“He’s in critical condition.”_

_Alexander presses the phone to his ear, speeding down the road to the hospital. By the time he gets there, it’s too late._

_Alexander breaks down._  


He pulled the key out from inside his pocket, unlocking the lock. It takes a bit of maneuvering, but he manages to pull the lock out of the bridge. He pockets the key again, tracing his fingers over the lock. There was a time when Lafayette had done the same, tracing his finger over the words as Alexander had rolled his eyes and chuckled.

Alexander doesn’t think he’ll ever find that happiness again. He kisses the lock, pressing his lips against it for a second.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, to nobody in particular. He looks up at the cloudy sky, knowing the person who deserves the apology will never get it. “I’m sorry.”

Alexander throws the lock over the edge of the bridge, watching it fall and hit the icy water below. He’s never going to see it again. He’s never going to get it back. He stands up. It’s over.

_“Together forever.”_

Yeah, right.

**Author's Note:**

> I live off of comments <3


End file.
